"The Showman"

He walks out on stage and is instantly accepted
Before he’s even done anything, the applause starts
He gives a small bow and begins to do what he does

His world appears to be a world of sequins and glitter
Decadence and non-stop fun
He takes you on a journey with him to many different places within your soul
He allows you to channel parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed
You can see him up there, not sitting still, trying his best to entertain you, to please you
All for the thing we call applause

Applause.
In the theater, it’s the equivalent of unconditional love
The feeling is overwhelming and the sound of hands banging together is enough to intoxicate you

He lives off of the applause
It’s become necessary for his very existence for he feels he has so little else
Friends come and go, lovers almost never exist, and the only things he really has are his skills and his name

He wants so badly to be this happy off stage
To bring some of that mass love home with him
Of course he knows he can’t

It’s hard for people to see past the flamboyance, the “Show”, the character
It’s hard to look a little deeper and see the person
He’s tried revealing that person and has failed many times

Not one to disappoint, he’s always forced to go back to being the showman
He’s only at home on the stage where he’s surrounded by “friends” even if he doesn’t know them, he has genuine affection for them. and for two hours or so, the feeling is mutual

Still, his optimism and hope are there.
One day, he always says to himself
Someone, somewhere will see me and take me despite my shortcomings and I’ll be more than happy to do the same

Nobody is perfect, but when you’re a “showman” you’re sometimes expected to be
That pressure becomes a bit more than one can take at times
So until that lucky day he’s dreamed of for so long...

The showman must and will go on

"Tragedy"

Tragic Figures.

The public sees them as examples of what not to do.  They also seem to have a morbid fascination with them.  Perhaps it makes them feel better to know that there’s someone out there who’s more screwed up than they are.  But how tragic are these figures, really?  The tragic figure is usually of some sort of iconic status.  Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Edie Sedgwick.  We almost always hear the word “tragedy” linked with these names.  These were women of incredible courage, wit, and talent.  That doesn’t sound terribly tragic to me.

Why am I writing about this?  Well, recently, a friend of mine said to me, “Vince, you’re a combination of all the tragic women who came before you”.  I was a bit taken aback by that comment and it made me think.  Have I had the greatest life in the world?  No.  True, “tragic” things have happened to me and I’ve been in “tragic” situations, but that does not make me a
tragedy.  It makes me a human being.

My love and consequent obsession with Judy Garland is a big part of this, I’m sure.  Whenever someone is that consumed with another person or subject, people try to find things they have in common to link them together.  It’s almost like how they tried to make Anna Nicole Smith’s death mimic Marilyn Monroe’s, which I found extremely distasteful not to mention disrespectful.  People like to have someone or something to compare others to.  It makes it easier for them to understand, I guess.  But as for me, I’m not Judy, I’m me.  Now, like Judy, humor has always been my saving grace in every situation.  Laughter keeps me alive.  I’ve had bouts with depression and illness and blah, blah,  blah... but that’s such a small part of the big picture.  People just spin it until it becomes a complete myth.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s a lot to every person and we should all scratch the surface a little and get to know each other.  Not only are these misconceptions untrue and unfair, but they can also be quite harmful to the people involved.  We’re all so quick to judge before we know what we’re talking about.  I can’t count how many times I’ve heard “I don’t hate you, I just don’t understand you”.  Well, what don’t you understand?  Talk to me.  Get to know me.  Maybe then you’ll understand.  Not knowing someone doesn’t automatically make everything about them “wrong”.  People aren’t black and white.  There’s much more to us than that.  So, with that said, the next time you’re put off by someone or “don’t understand them”, give them a chance.  Because, someday, you may need that chance.  We all deserve it.