Photos for John

With Andrew and my two little brothers, Joey & Joshie about a month before Joey died (he's the one sitting)

A picture taken against my will at the hospital a few weeks ago during an EEG

Screen shots from a movie I did in 2010 called "The Rehearsal"

Singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" to Andrew during a fundraiser show for my brother.

Last Christmas at Andrew's parents'

Screenshot from a short film I did called "The Christmas Spoiled"

At "End of The Rainbow" (just to torture you) ;P

Me with Andrew, Matt (Andrew's brother on the left) and Joshie 

With Joey a month prior to his death 

With Tracie Bennett after the last performance of "End Of The Rainbow"

Andrew and I this past June at his sister's highschool graduation party

Shots of the Scarsedale House

These are the most recent pictures taken of me about a month ago at my friend, Laura's wedding.  This is me with my friend, Mike Angelini who works at Disney World.

Andrew, always my plus one :)

Our temporary houseguest, Sarah Jane and I with Nathan Lane after seeing "The Nance"

Little Nelly Kelly?

Fat Little Me with Lorna <3

"The Showman"

He walks out on stage and is instantly accepted
Before he’s even done anything, the applause starts
He gives a small bow and begins to do what he does

His world appears to be a world of sequins and glitter
Decadence and non-stop fun
He takes you on a journey with him to many different places within your soul
He allows you to channel parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed
You can see him up there, not sitting still, trying his best to entertain you, to please you
All for the thing we call applause

Applause.
In the theater, it’s the equivalent of unconditional love
The feeling is overwhelming and the sound of hands banging together is enough to intoxicate you

He lives off of the applause
It’s become necessary for his very existence for he feels he has so little else
Friends come and go, lovers almost never exist, and the only things he really has are his skills and his name

He wants so badly to be this happy off stage
To bring some of that mass love home with him
Of course he knows he can’t

It’s hard for people to see past the flamboyance, the “Show”, the character
It’s hard to look a little deeper and see the person
He’s tried revealing that person and has failed many times

Not one to disappoint, he’s always forced to go back to being the showman
He’s only at home on the stage where he’s surrounded by “friends” even if he doesn’t know them, he has genuine affection for them. and for two hours or so, the feeling is mutual

Still, his optimism and hope are there.
One day, he always says to himself
Someone, somewhere will see me and take me despite my shortcomings and I’ll be more than happy to do the same

Nobody is perfect, but when you’re a “showman” you’re sometimes expected to be
That pressure becomes a bit more than one can take at times
So until that lucky day he’s dreamed of for so long...

The showman must and will go on

"Tragedy"

Tragic Figures.

The public sees them as examples of what not to do.  They also seem to have a morbid fascination with them.  Perhaps it makes them feel better to know that there’s someone out there who’s more screwed up than they are.  But how tragic are these figures, really?  The tragic figure is usually of some sort of iconic status.  Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Edie Sedgwick.  We almost always hear the word “tragedy” linked with these names.  These were women of incredible courage, wit, and talent.  That doesn’t sound terribly tragic to me.

Why am I writing about this?  Well, recently, a friend of mine said to me, “Vince, you’re a combination of all the tragic women who came before you”.  I was a bit taken aback by that comment and it made me think.  Have I had the greatest life in the world?  No.  True, “tragic” things have happened to me and I’ve been in “tragic” situations, but that does not make me a
tragedy.  It makes me a human being.

My love and consequent obsession with Judy Garland is a big part of this, I’m sure.  Whenever someone is that consumed with another person or subject, people try to find things they have in common to link them together.  It’s almost like how they tried to make Anna Nicole Smith’s death mimic Marilyn Monroe’s, which I found extremely distasteful not to mention disrespectful.  People like to have someone or something to compare others to.  It makes it easier for them to understand, I guess.  But as for me, I’m not Judy, I’m me.  Now, like Judy, humor has always been my saving grace in every situation.  Laughter keeps me alive.  I’ve had bouts with depression and illness and blah, blah,  blah... but that’s such a small part of the big picture.  People just spin it until it becomes a complete myth.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s a lot to every person and we should all scratch the surface a little and get to know each other.  Not only are these misconceptions untrue and unfair, but they can also be quite harmful to the people involved.  We’re all so quick to judge before we know what we’re talking about.  I can’t count how many times I’ve heard “I don’t hate you, I just don’t understand you”.  Well, what don’t you understand?  Talk to me.  Get to know me.  Maybe then you’ll understand.  Not knowing someone doesn’t automatically make everything about them “wrong”.  People aren’t black and white.  There’s much more to us than that.  So, with that said, the next time you’re put off by someone or “don’t understand them”, give them a chance.  Because, someday, you may need that chance.  We all deserve it.

Pretty Eyes

The shock still hasn’t worn off
You’re in that place where you’re still not sure it really happened
You’re panicking inside and you’ve been scarred far beyond repair

You pick up the phone and dial
He comes to your side
You feel a small lift in your mood

The two of you talk
You laugh a little
You dispense the whole unpleasant tale

You feel a little better and a lot calmer

He plays you some music
He talks to you about his thoughts and feelings
He captivates and intrigues you

But he notices that you’re still not completely okay

He gives you a small kiss
Then a big hug
You hold on for dear life

When he releases you, you look up
There go the pretty blue eyes
There’s that smile with the dimples you love so much

You’re comfortable because you know he is too
It’s another form of freedom you’re sure you have
And now, you know you’ll be fine.

"Angel For Christmas"

This is a song based on a beautiful melody that a fellow (and now close friend) named Michael Melton composed and along with me and my friend, Angelina helping with lyrics, turned into a Christmas song for my brother, Joey.  Here are the lyrics.  When it's finally recorded, I'll put that up as well....


Bring me an angel for christmas this year


To cast out the darkness if hope turns to fear


'Cause I'm here now and some nights I'm not sure how the day began


So send my an angel just someone to hold my hand






I've used up my courage I've shed every tear


And here I am pleading that someone will hear


My heart beating I have not disappeared


So bring me an angel, an angel for christmas this year






Each day when I wake up to make up my face


Beside me there's always that same empty space


Now the days have grown colder I'm not happy living on my own


Please send me an angel, I'm tired of being alone






This christmas is different, there's change in the air


How perfect it will be when someone is there


In the night when I’m walking I can feel the magic everywhere


I know that you're out there, my angel, my life is your's to share

"The Artist"

There he is, brush in hand
Ready to create yet another masterpiece
His talent is incomprehensible yet comes so naturally
He’s a master of his art

Behind the brush strokes
Behind the exquisite skill
Is a man
He’s envied by many and equally adored

What kind of man is this?
Is this his only talent?
Not by a long shot
Some talents can’t be recorded on paper

He draws you in with his eyes
His smile makes you smile
His laugh is contagious
His love is worth more than the price of any painting

Through his art he expresses his hopes, his dreams, his demons
Through his actions he expresses his spontaneity
Through his words he expresses his genuine affection

This artist; This man
Has managed to take a mangled grey existence
And color it as vibrantly as it would allow him
He’s taken a life that was once meaningless
And given it a thirst for life and living

To know him is to love him
What you owe him can not be measured
To you, he can do no wrong
He’s your vision of perfection

Yes, this man is an artist who’s art extends beyond a canvas
He is a primary example of why we would die without art
 

"Fabulous"

He’s the life of the party
The center of attention
His clothes are divine
He tells the best stories
He always makes you laugh
He’s Fabulous!

He commands the stage
Everyone looks upon him with admiration
He’s the most entertaining person you’ve ever seen
His presence captivates you
He’s pleased them
He’s given them all he has
He’s Fabulous!

The party’s over
The final curtain has fallen
No one asked him home after the party
They neglected to mention the after show dinner to him
From the waves of mass admiration, love, and applause, he’s suddenly alone

He scrapes off the mound of product from his Fabulous face
He replaces it with something else to help maintain that Fabulosity
He slips into his silk pajamas and crawls into bed
His eye mask is perched on top of his head ready to block out the light
He hugs a nearby pillow with all his might as if it were a person

He takes a pill to help him sleep through the merry-go-round of thoughts that haunt him
He begins to weep
For he knows he wouldn’t be in bed alone and might have a real person to hug if he wasn’t so...
 “Fabulous”